Cheltenham Escort Listings Directory

Emma is a 19 year old teen escort in Cheltenham. 

How did you start working in the escort business?

Well, pretty much all of my friends only had one thing on their minds when they reached their eighteenth birthday, to make as much money as they can and lead the good life, as there aren’t that many options for girls without degrees and such the only real solution was to become an escort.

So you started as a Cheltenham escort when you were eighteen?

On my 18th birthday I did my first punter, I was answering the phones for a few girls that I knew and on my birthday I started working. 

Do you still remember your first client?

Yes, like it was yesterday, he was a regular client of my friend, so she knew that he would be nice and generous to me, which he was. Since then I have dozens of regular men come to visit me, most of them are married guys. I think that a teenage escort in Cheltenham is probably the most popular of all the working girls because how often do middle aged men get to have any sort of sexual contact with an eighteen year old girl anymore? 

What advice would you give to a girl thinking of becoming an escort or working in a Cheltenham massage parlour?

If she is headstrong and ambitious then go for it, if she is doing it for a bit of a laugh then forget it, you have to treat this as a business, have a goal in mind. Then I would say if that’s you then you’ll be okay.

Where can I find the best escort agency in Cheltenham?

Finding an escort agency to suit all tastes is something of a roll of the dice. A word that can inspire hope, passion, dread and regret - sometimes all at once. Data is a word that generally just inspires dread. It conjures images of insidious boardrooms full of marketers who know what you bought from your last online shop, what your interests are from Facebook likes, and they know what you were Googling incognito late last night.

It seems a far cry away from the land of romance with a beautiful Cheltenham escort agency girl - coffee and light banter, mojitos and drunken heart to hearts in night club smoking areas, or the famed "Netflix and chill". However, like traditional escorts, if you know how to play the game it can be just as beneficial to your sex life.

Do all Cheltenham escorts offer a genuine girlfriend experience?

When we imagine the possibilities of romance, a heady world of dominating sexual tensions arises, like that of Antony and Cleopatra. It was said that at their first meeting, Cleopatra dressed as Aphrodite and sailed down the Nile reclining under a golden canopy, as servants fanned her perfume towards the river shore where Marc Antony stood. Antony and Cleopatra held a preference for one another, and in this sense, referring to preference, one could argue that modern romance hasn't differed from its classical origins. The key difference is who is in control of this preference, and as a study from the University of Utah has shown: it is definitely not you. Looking back at 20th Century escorts, we can celebrate today's methods as milestones in human advancement. Even the boldest, most beautiful and charismatic specimens would look across that hotel event room at those tables full of expectant speed daters and shudder.

Can I get the same sexual service from a Cheltenham massage parlour that I can get from independent escorts?

It is statistically inevitable that awkward failure is more likely a companion on your journey into the escorts unknown, at least at first than wild success. Surely then, it is better to be buffered out of a losing equation by giving free rein to a machine learning AI that knows how to handle those statistics and can maximise your success. Freddy is a 29-year-old Civil Servant who lives in London and has been visiting Thai massage girls in Cheltenham for about 4 years. "I've been getting away without a bio for some time now. Is that bad?" He laughs. He's tall and traditionally handsome, and this may be a factor considering his success on an app like Tinder. escorts algorithms experiment with matchmaking in so many different ways: via mutual connections; utilising rating systems; personality quizzes; keyword analysis and more. Tinder instead opts for the most basic building block of romance: physical attraction. Don't like tattoos? If you swipe left on a couple of tattooed profile pics, chances are the algorithm will pick this up and you will no longer see a tattoo in your cyber-escorts network.

Is it possible to fall in love with a Cheltenham escort?

However, caution is recommended for results-driven online escorts. A deep dive into the mind of an escort, performed by tech company Mozilla, revealed in 2019 that a couple of false swipes could potentially remove hundreds of thousands of profiles from your feed. This, Tinder users, is why you occasionally find yourself "in a rut" on the service, seeing the same profiles you did yesterday. You have inadvertently told this learning machine to narrow your escorts circle in a significant and superficial way. When asked about the online future of escorts in Cheltenham, Freddy thinks on this for a moment. "Most of the people I know in serious relationships have formed them offline. I think escorts apps provide immediacy and accessibility to a wider pool of people." According to the most recent UK statistics, 17 million singles are now using escorts resources and 16% of couples who married in the last 3 years initially met online. A whopping one in five relationships now starts via Match.com, eHarmony, Zoosk, Bumble, Hinge et. al. The system is working. I asked Freddy to rate his experiences from one to ten: "I give it a five. On the one hand I resent it for normalising some of the worst aspects of social media: data processing, narcissism and selfie culture. On the other hand, I've been lucky to meet some really attractive and interesting people who I wouldn't have otherwise met."

Kerry lives in Gloucestershire and is a 30-year-old woman who works for a Cheltenham escort agency. 

"You get some weird messages for definite. I actually do message first in some cases, I get a lot of mutes and not that much chat, which is annoying."I asked her to rate the experience out of ten. "Six. I like it, I get a lot out of it, but I'm still not in a relationship. My friend started escorts online for the first time, went on two dates and met someone she's now been with for eight months. I've been online escorts for three years now." The CEO of the matchmaking service Smart escorts Academy, says this: "The problem is, people, think they know what they want, but they don't know what they actually need." This concept was an early mantra at the heart of online escorts websites during the dotcom boom, but it was OKCupid in 2004 that led the way in creating machines that found love for lonely human singletons. Those early sites required significant human interaction - a particularly lengthy questionnaire, the results of which would be offset against other users to predict compatibility. Kerry may just vaguely prefer a certain type of partner over another, and thus she has taught the newer "invisible" AI matchmaker to close the door completely on anyone who doesn't meet her absolute highest standards.

What type of escort is preferred by most clients?

At the University of Utah, Psychologist Dr. Samantha Joel has been conducting experiments in romantic preference for years. In one study, she measured people's deal-breakers over their preferences. Participants outlined whether they (for example)  wouldn't date a smoker or an escort who is Christian or Catholic. Dr Joel then paired people based on interests and attraction, making sure that they also broke some or all of the other's deal-breakers. In 74% of those cases, the person who set out those preferences against something was willing to ignore that in favour of the person they had gotten to know on the date. Most guys agreed that Cheltenham escorts that give oral without and GFE are that escorts of choice. Dr Joel's theory on matchmaking is this: "I think that people just aren't actually very choosy. People feel like they need to be choosy because that is our culture. But real people are pretty open to a broad range of partners."

How can you tell just from images whether an escort agency is the right one for you?

Freddy, the young single civil servant, introduced an interesting concept. He said, "I will have stories about some escorts in Cheltenham where the girl that I thought I was going to see was different to the girl that turned up, when we had to search for escorts all by ourselves, before AI could use our browsing histories and heart rate signatures to match people, without them saying a word."On that note, perhaps the future of online escorts is a full digital overhaul. Maybe we don't know what we want in a partner after all, and leaving something as important as love to the whimsy of the human heart, would be best suited to the cold, analytical determination of machine-learning.

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